Single vs Married Woman with PCOS: Is Their Pain Different?

(The Honest Truth About PCOS, Pressure, and Womanhood in Our Society)

“Buti sana kung wala kang asawa, okay lang na wala kang anak… pero may asawa ka eh!”
“Mag-asawa ka na para mawala na ‘yang PCOS mo!”
“Baka iwan ka niyan pag nalaman niyang may PCOS ka.”
“Hindi ka pa rin buntis? Dapat magpatingin ka na… baka hindi ka na magkaanak!”

Familiar ba sa’yo ang mga salitang ito?

Ako rin. Ilang beses ko nang narinig ‘yan—from mga kamag-anak, kaibigan, o kahit ‘yung hindi ko naman ka-close. Pero teka… kasalanan ba nating mga babae na nagkaroon tayo ng PCOS?

If you’ve ever heard any of these lines, let me hug you virtually. Because same, sis. Nakaka-trigger, di ba?

These words hit differently when you’re a woman—especially in a culture like ours, where being a “real woman” is still often tied to marriage and motherhood.

But here’s the thing:
PCOS doesn’t choose between single or married women. It chooses no one. It just… happens.

PCOS 101: A Lifelong Battle We Didn’t Choose

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a chronic hormonal condition that affects millions of women worldwide, especially those in their reproductive years.

Ayon sa studies, around 6 to 13% of women have PCOS—and shockingly, 70% don’t even know they have it. Many only find out when they’re trying to get pregnant, or when symptoms become too difficult to ignore.

It can lead to:

Irregular or absent periods
Infertility
Acne, oily skin
Excessive hair growth (on the face, chest, etc.)
Weight gain or obesity
Mood swings, depression, and anxiety
Increased risk for type 2 diabetes and heart disease

It’s not “just stress.” It’s not “just being unhealthy.” And it’s definitely not our fault. At hindi ito pipili kung single ka o married ka.

PCOS doesn’t care about your Facebook status.

Why Is It Always Our Fault?

Sa kultura natin, masyadong naka-focus ang pressure sa pag-aasawa at pagkakaroon ng anak. Kapag single ka na may PCOS, ang tingin sa’yo: “Naku, baka wala nang magpakasal sa’yo.”
Kapag married ka at may PCOS: “Kailan kayo mag-aanak?”

So let me ask:
Tayo ba ang may kasalanan sa kondisyon na hindi naman natin ginusto?

Hindi kami tamad.
Hindi kami pabaya.
Hindi kami kulang.

Maraming kababaihan ang nagka-PCOS dahil sa stress, lifestyle, genetic predisposition, or imbalanced hormones. Minsan nga, inuna pa nga namin ang trabaho, ang pamilya, ang mga pangarap—kahit napapabayaan na ang sarili.

Pero does that mean we deserve the judgment?

Why do people talk like we “earned” this condition by working too hard or choosing our careers?
Why does society treat us like we’re broken just because we have PCOS?

“Kasalanan ba naming unahin ang pangarap?”
“Kasalanan ba naming gusto muna naming mag-ipon bago magkaanak?”
“Kasalanan ba naming hindi kami nabuntis agad?”

There are women who’ve worked tirelessly—nights without sleep, juggling jobs, supporting families—only to be judged for not having kids, as if their worth as women suddenly decreased.

And when we do prioritize ourselves or our dreams, we’re labeled as “selfish.”

But we are not selfish—we are survivors.

Married with PCOS? The Pressure is Overwhelming

If you’re married and dealing with PCOS, the pressure doubles. You’re expected to get pregnant ASAP. The unsolicited advice? Endless.

“Anak na lang ang kulang sa inyo.”

“Siguro may problema ka, hindi ka pa rin buntis.”

“Dapat mag fertility treatment na kayo!”

What they don’t see is the emotional toll—
The pregnancy tests.
The monthly breakdowns.
The hospital visits.
The hormones.
The tears you cry in silence because you feel like your body is failing you.

And yet, we smile. We show up. We pretend we’re okay.

Single with PCOS? The Stigma is Real

On the other side, being single with PCOS comes with its own baggage.

You hear things like:

“Naku, baka wala nang mag-asawa sa’yo.”

“Di ba delikado ‘yan pag tumanda ka?”

“Kaya ka ganyan kasi hindi ka pa nagkaka-boyfriend.”

As if a relationship is the magical cure to a hormonal disorder.
As if your worth depends on your ability to conceive.

Let me remind you—
You are worthy. Even if you don’t have a ring. Even if you don’t have a child. Even if your hormones are all over the place.

Whether you’re single, happily married, or somewhere in between, what’s important is how we take care of ourselves. Ang PCOS ay hindi lang pang-babaeng gustong magkaanak. It’s a chronic condition na kailangan ng lifetime management.

Kaya kung ikaw ay babae at may PCOS:

💡 Magpatingin sa OB-GYN
💡 Mag-research, magtanong, magbasa
💡 Gawan ng paraan ang self-care—kahit konti lang sa isang araw
💡 Huwag mong ikahiya ang kondisyon mo
💡 At higit sa lahat—ipaglaban mo ang sarili mo

Hindi madali, pero hindi ka nag-iisa.

The Real Enemy: Misinformation and Lack of Support

What hurts more than PCOS is the lack of understanding.
People think PCOS is just about gaining weight or missing periods. But what they don’t see is:

The mood swings you can’t control
The feeling of being trapped in a body that doesn’t “cooperate”
The anxiety over the future—“Will I ever have kids? Will someone still love me?”
The isolation, the shame, the silence

And yet, many of us continue to show up for work, for our families, for everyone else—while barely holding ourselves together.

We Are Not Broken. We Are Warriors.

Being a woman with PCOS—whether single, married, dating, or figuring things out—means you’re already fighting a silent battle every day.

And for that, I see you.
I’m with you.
And I admire you.

Single ka man o may asawa, isa lang ang totoo: you are not less of a woman because you have PCOS. You are strong. You are valid. And you are worthy of love, understanding, and support.

We may have PCOS, but we are:

Strong, resilient, brave and never, ever alone

So What Now? Here’s What We Can Do

💖 Get checked – If you suspect you have PCOS, don’t delay. Consult your OB-GYN and ask for hormonal tests or an ultrasound.
💖 Educate yourself – Knowledge is power. Understand your cycle, your triggers, your options.
💖 Take care of your body – It doesn’t have to be extreme. A 10-minute walk, a balanced meal, or just enough sleep can already help.
💖 Set boundaries – It’s okay to say no to conversations that make you feel small.
💖 Build your tribe – Find women who understand, who uplift, who will remind you that you are enough.

Share This If You Feel Seen

If you read this and felt a tear fall, or a weight lifted, know that you are not alone.

If you’re tired of pretending you’re okay when you’re not, I see you.

And if you know someone who needs to hear this too—please share it.
Let’s spread awareness. Let’s break the shame. Let’s show the world what it truly means to be a woman with PCOS.

Together, we are stronger.
Together, we are louder.
Together, we rise.

🧡 From one woman with PCOS to another—thank you for holding on. You’re doing amazing, kahit hindi mo pa narerealize.

Love,
Reese 💖

PCOS Millennials